Laser caterpillar

I like taking long afternoon naps on the weekends and usually end up having vivid dreams…

I was keeping some live caterpillars in my pencil case like a little kid, to see what they would turn into.  The pencil case tipped over and half-spilled its contents. There was a strange sizzling noise and a bluish glow. It took me several minutes to figure out what was going on. One of the caterpillars, which had grown big on all the leaves I put in there, was crawling along my purple laser pointer* and had activated the button. Its long antennae were hanging down into the beam, and burning.

* I wish I had a purple laser pointer in real life, but they’re rather expensive.

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Throwing stuff out the window

Listening to a speech by a high-level company exec. Talking about decision-making, trust, and communication within the company. Told the following story about AIDS prevention as an example of how smart people can make dumb decisions.
“For reasons I don’t understand, at one point the whole world was into microbicides. They were throwing millions of dollars into microbicides. And when I was at the Gates Foundation I said it wouldn’t work. Why?
“When you go into the field, you see these villages with 25 huts. In front of each hut is a huge pile of garbage, because they don’t have garbage disposal in these villages. You use something, you throw it out the window onto the pile.
“Imagine you want to have sex. The microbicide comes in a package, so you unwrap the package and throw the wrapper out the window. There’s a plastic applicator tube with the gel inside, so you apply it and throw it out the window.
“Now everybody knows you had sex last night and you think your husband has HIV.”

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The Unseen

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/22/abu-dhabi-migrant-workers-conditions-shame-west

Construction workers being treated terribly…being indebted for a year for exorbitant “recruitment fees” as soon as they land…squalid dorms…employers confiscating passports…accident victims receiving tardy and insufficient medical care. This sounds familiar. I think the most powerful allegory for early 21st century globalisation that most people haven’t read is “The Book of D’ni” based on the Myst computer games. (SPOILERS FOLLOW)

Atrus and his proteges trying to rebuild D’ni stumbled on a lost civilisation called Terahnee. They found that the D’ni had cut off relationships because Terahnee was a slave society. They had beautiful homes and monuments and amazing technology, but behind it all were slaves from hundreds of planets called “relyimah”, “the unseen”. A slave could be beaten for being seen and killed for touching a Terahnee master. I read the Myst trilogy shortly after moving to Singapore in 2009. The concept of “unseen” labourers struck me forcibly when I realised a featureless white building at a construction site in Singapore that I walked past every day had people living in it.

I have worked as a foreigner in other countries for many years. If an employer demanded I hand over my passport to prevent me from running away I would certainly tell them to go sodomise themself. Obviously white-collar “expats” have power and privileges that blue-collar “migrant workers” don’t. But these people are having their basic human rights and rights under the laws of host countries violated while the governments turn a blind eye and/or side with the bosses. It’s so damn unfair.

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Bebas, aku naik bas

Met some interesting people on the FLEX bus and waiting for the L bus…a mother taking her half-Arapahoe little boys to the reservation for the first time to see their father – the smaller boy kept handing me his Lightning McQueen car to play with but wouldn’t say anything; two ex-prisoners chatting about parole, rehab, and Thanksgiving dinner at “the Mission” – the middle aged guy passed around some mints and the little boy eventually threw his on the floor; a trio of Omani freshmen going to Denver hoping to buy a TV and PS4 on Black Friday (good luck, guys!); a widow?divorcee? who recently moved back to Colorado from California and invited me to her house next week. Happy Thanksgiving you all!

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Exodus: How Migration is Changing Our World (first impression)

Paul Collier, Exodus (advance reading copy)

Paul Collier, Exodus (advance reading copy)

I’ve been pretty much hiding indoors sulking for a month since arriving in the USA (terrible, I know; there are so many people who want to be in my position). But I accepted the job, and now it’s dawning on me that I have two weeks left to Get Stuff Done before plunging back into a full-time position.

One nice thing about being back in the USA is that I can start ordering stuff as an Amazon Vine reviewer again. I got five books and a vacuum cleaner. Yes. An ENTIRE FREAKING VACUUM CLEANER. For writing a lot of opinionated book reviews when I was an undergraduate, free stuff every month for as long as Amazon sees fit.

One of the books is by Paul Collier, on migration. Naturally this is a subject of great relevance to me. According to the back-cover blurb, he thinks it needs to be limited for everybody’s good. He admits that persons like his family are in a sense “parasitic” which makes me rather uneasy because I have to admit that even though I hardly consider myself a jet-setter, me and mine are internationally mobile people.

I argue for a lot of counterintuitive things. I don’t think that necessarily makes me a hypocrite. I argue that Chinese Malaysians should hang on to southern Chinese languages (deprecated as “dialects” in Singapore and Malaysia even though they’re not) even though I’m a total banana, because I think that our history is precious. I argue that science and maths shouldn’t be taught in English, because they need to be taught in the most easily understood medium. It will be interesting to see this man who has a family scattered all over argue that people shouldn’t migrate so much.

Collier has a couple of other popular books that sound like stuff I should read: The Bottom Billion and The Plundered PlanetExodus is supposed to be a sequel of sorts to the former.

Some of the Vine books are the first edition whereas others are uncorrected preprints. If I’d known The Hunger Games was going to get so popular I totally would have hung on to mine. Basket. The one of A Most Wanted Man had a handwritten note from John le Carre as the cover, which was pretty cool. This one is just plain orange with block lettering.

Anyway I’m still in the intro chapters where he’s laying out the problem. One line that jumped out at me was “One indication that democratic institutions matter is that a change of leader only makes a significant difference to economic performance if these institutions are weak.”

That means…BN’s claim that Malaysia will descend into chaos if Pakatan takes over is an admission that the government they’ve been running for fifty-plus years SUCKS.

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Here

The first time I got a student visa, terrorists brought down the World Trade Center five days before I started university.
I immigrated on an IR1 (spouse of a US citizen) visa on Monday and the federal government promptly shut down.
…the way it’s going, if I took up citizenship, probably an asteroid would hit North America or the Yellowstone supervolcano would erupt.

I’m just sitting at home in the middle of a living room floor strewn with unpacked and unkempt personal belongings, empty of furniture, because booting up a house takes longer than booting up a 2000 PC running Windows Vista. I am, uncharacteristically, afraid.

Continue reading

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Who run the world

I’d like to write a story for an action movie that goes like this…

Three young women go off for a beach holiday, a well-deserved break from being up-and-coming professionals in unusual fields: one is a public policy researcher, another a social worker helping refugees, and another a biologist who handles exotic viruses. All are deeply passionate about their work, and they will soon find that, in the worst possible way, they haven’t left it behind. The boardroom conspiracies of Western pharmaceutical companies and the steel tentacles of the global arms trade fuelled by the crisis in the Middle East converge in a whirlwind of blood and money. The fate of a young nation hangs in the balance, and at the pivot stand three young women…

#MarySue

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Legoland Malaysia Lytro pix!

My family (sans B-Boy because he had to work) went to Legoland Malaysia. I’ve been skeptical of it in the past, but my teenage cousin from Los Angeles said it’s better than Legoland California, which I liked very much despite being freezing cold.

What I really like about taking pictures of stuff in Miniland is that if you get it right, you can get shots where the viewer doesn’t realise certain people or buildings are models until they re-focus.

Here are a few pix I took, click through to see the rest in the album.

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Trogdor the Burninator

My parents and the Mouse (recently finished her Master’s and is going to be a Teach for Malaysia fellow) are down in Singapore for a visit so we had dinner together with our cousins Judoka and Spiderman, and my housemate and Mouse’s classmate Dormouse. I don’t know if other people think we’re just weirdoes, but my family are hilarious.

On the subject of cut-throat competition in schools (stealing notes when someone goes to the toilet in the library, spying on exam results and the like) my father said, “When I was in Form Six I kept a very good Physics notebook. Then just before finals, it disappeared.”

Mouse: “People could read your handwriting?”

Continue reading

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Really terrible original jokes

These are some bad puns I made up. (not saying nobody else could have come up with them independently so don’t get mad at me if you heard them from a friend)

Why is gambling addiction such a serious social problem in Singapore?
Because it was founded by Raffles.
(a friend who’s a curator at the National Museum says Raffles was actually against gambling, it was his successor Farquhar who licensed gambling dens.)

What do you call a female security guard in Malaysia?
Lady JaGa.

How do you hail a female cab driver in South Korea?
Heyyyyyyyyyy, taxi lady!

And last, not a pun but definitely in the “really bad” category:
What’s the different between a husband and a bicycle?
There is such a thing as one’s bicycle being too stiff for a good ride.

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