Liang Hui Fang, d. 2008

My other grandmother was cremated today. She passed away on the 13th, after having been in and out of the hospital for a week due to respiratory problems.

Maybe I'm a bad person but I don't feel sad about her...first because I never was emotionally close to either grandmother, second because she had a relatively long and healthy life (except for Alzheimer's in the last decade). I don't support human euthanasia, but when you're that old and not in shape to enjoy life any more...leaving it's not bad.

It's for my father, aunties, and uncles whom I'm sad for. Especially for my dad's youngest sister, who's single and lived with her mother for decades. (wonder...if i was her would i feel desolate or relieved? am i a horrible person for even thinking that?) This can't be easy on my mum either, as she just lost her own mother in December.

You see, we're not sentimental people. When I got the email from my aunt I called my mum's handphone, since my dad was doing the driving from to KL from Penang.
"How's Pa?" I asked my mother.
"Pa's okay, he's not crying unless you ask him to talk about Maa Maa."

Later when they got to PJ I called my dad's handphone again.
"So how's everybody now?"
"We're all right...I think the only two people who are crying are Tini [the maid who was hired to take care of my grandmother] and your sister [my second sis, who tends to be more emotional]."

So the funeral was today and I haven't heard a report yet since I forgot to call in the morning. My first sister and my brother came up from school on the weekend and took the midnight bus back to Singapore after.

But, oh god,
Under the weight of life,
Things seem brighter on the other side...
Lighter on the other side...

- Dave Matthews Band, "Big Eyed Fish"

Waiting

So...waiting for final election results. BN lost its 2/3 majority so they can't screw around with the Constitution any more. w00t!

Also, waiting for somebody to go...last week my aunty wrote an email saying that it looked like my father's mother was about to pass away (mum's mother went in December). Since then, the family members have been visiting her, making preparations, et cetera.

I just got an email with what's essentially the brief minutes of a family meeting wherein is outlined the plans for her funeral. It seems very odd to me...there haven't been many deaths in the family in my lifetime, so I always think of funerals as events hastily organized, under emergency circumstances.

I'm young and I feel, to use a cliche, immortal... It seems weird to think that death can appproach so slowly you can see it from a long way off.

Happy New Year!

Chinese New Year, Year of the Rat...and my seventh away from home.

The family's at my aunty's house in Subang Jaya this year. We did a video call on Skype, so I saw some cousins (Jemufo, Jerng, etc.) live for the first time in a couple of years. Not that said cousins don't have computers, we're just bad at keeping in touch =)

Near the end of the call, my first sister Yan (after me, before FlowerMoonFish) started yelping "I did it! I did it!" in the background.

me: What's she screaming about?
Jemufo: A puzzle.
Yan: I'm a genius!
me: Then how come you're majoring in social sciences?
Yan: Hey! Er...at least I'm not one of those stupid arts people.
Jemufo: HEY!

Man, I miss them.

2008 New Year's Resolution

I don't normally make New Year's resolutions (e.g. "I will not bite my nails" has been a historical failure since age eight or so) but I've come up with what I think is a viable one this year:

• To match any amount I spend aside from regular groceries, household, and toiletry supplies with donations to NGOs doing food aid, health, education, social justice, or women's issues - both secular and Christian.
• To match ALL spending on my cat with donations to animal welfare (not animal rights) and wildlife conservation organizations.

This way I'll probably spend less money this year on silly stuff and waste less time Internet shopping.

Maybe it sounds a bit extreme to some people but I've found since leaving home and starting to earn my own money at age 18, that the less stuff I buy, the less stuff I want. Materialism is a self-perpetuating lust, and most of the hobbies I really enjoy require very little material.

Other things I'd like to do:

• Write at least 2 short fiction stories and submit at least 1 to Writers of the Future or a science fiction magazine.
• Draw more, and spontaneously.
• Reinstall Creatures 3/Docking Station on my computer and start tinkering with the CAOS (Creatures Agent Object Scripting) language.
• Call parents and sisters and "small" boy more often (sometimes I forget my brother has a phone because he never calls me...)
• Clean my bike more often.
• Cook for my boyfriend and make him take his vitamins regularly.
• Watch more movies.

It's gonna be a personally interesting year...my project is going to get into animal studies...I'll have to write a thesis and hopefully graduate...my parents just got transferred to Penang...two of my London cousins are getting married in the summer so I'll finally have a chance to go to England...a couple of Phases kakis are getting married in Malaysia...another couple is having a baby, which makes them the first friends my age to reproduce...my boyfriend is taking 2/3 of a year off school for an internship...his mum wants to show our respective cats in the summer (TICA lets you show household pets)...

Et cetera. 'Tis life. =)

Lim Beng Choo, d. 2007

I got a new handsfree (the cheapest wired one possible; you think I so poser wanna get Bluetooth pulak?) for my SE T610 phone on Tuesday and it was a good thing because yesterday night I ended up spending an awful lot of time on the phone and my ear would have hurt without it.

My college friend (and first ex) SD called unexpectedly and we spent the better part of an hour chatting while I played with my cat using a laser pointer and a feather stick. She loves the handsfree too since she's never gotten so much attention at one time.

As we were ending the call the "new message" alarm beeped. It's a very good thing that Einstein Wireless also finally got my voicemail routing problem fixed, since the rather garbled and tearful message was from my sis saying that "Papa just emailed...Ah Mah passed away..."

So I called her back and spent some time talking to and praying with her on the phone. None of us were ever close to Ah Mah - as my dad later observed, "you'll probably miss Ah Gong more", but poor thing was pretty upset.

Nobody really expected this; even though my mother's mother has been in the late stages of Alzheimer's Disease for a long time, she was in relative physical health as far as anyone knew. My mum was feeding her lunch and she just stopped eating and went still.

My dad's job is transferring him to Penang right after New Year's; part of the reason for the transfer was supposed to be so that my mum could be close to her parents instead of having to take a six-hour bus ride every two weeks. They're still moving, but things have changed. Ah Gong's still more than capable of taking care of himself, but now that his wife is gone maybe it'll be good to have another daughter around...I hope. He's a tough old man, still rides his motorbike to market.

There's going to be a small funeral tomorrow. It'll be non-religious; Ah Mah was Buddhist but hadn't practised for years, and the family is all over the place including my Muslim aunty and her family.

My London aunty and my Los Angeles aunty were supposed to go back to Penang next week and the week after respectively; as far gone into senility as Ah Mah was, I think it must still be a shock to be coming back to a grave instead of a living mother.

I called my Los Angeles aunty later since she's my only other Chang relative in the USA. She sounded sorrowful but calm as she said, "I miss the Ah Mah we had when I was young."

---

My father's mother also has severe Alzheimer's Disease. Above anything else I dread one day saying to a daughter or a niece, "I miss the Ma we had when I was young," or worse, "I miss the Pa we had when I was young." If it ever comes to that God grant us the grace to bear it.

My Ah Kong

My parents are up in Penang for the English-speaking Methodist Church's Annual Conference. They didn't say where they were staying but I figured it would be in Ma's parents' house by default so I called.

They were out but my Ah Kong picked up the phone. The conversation was a bit garbled but the old man's still sharp. When I asked him how Ah Mah was, he said her "central nervous system no good". I asked what he does and he said he goes "marketing" (that's the Malaysian idiom for "going grocery shopping at the market"; seriously, I love it 'cos it sounds so cool) three or four times a week. Although my mum's not too keen on it, I think he still rides his motorcycle.

When the Japanese invaded China he was there for university since at the time even Malayan-born Chinese were still considered Chinese citizens. He got recruited to be an officer and ended up training men twice his age. Later when he came back he was a schoolteacher. After he retired it was too boring so he tried being a mechanic. That didn't work so he went to culinary school and started his own catering business and ran cooking classes. (Man, those Chinese New Year banquets with the ping-pong table pulled out to make room for all the fantastic dishes and relatives...) He also made and sold fruit-fly traps, kitchen utensils, and those funny foot acupressure boards on the side. He's slowed down now but he's still fun to talk to.

Thank God for one intact grandparent. My father's father was dead long before I was born. He died of prostate cancer diagnosed late; my dad likes to complain about how these traditional old Chinamen are stubborn about having their blood drawn. My grandmothers are in the late stages of Alzheimer's Disease, and being young and cocky I think I'd rather take poison than be like that. When I'm old, I want to be like my Ah Kong.

Straight from the fishie's mouth

Conversation with my sister on the CTA train:

"You know, if somebody wanted to really terrorize Singapore, they should bomb the junior colleges during assembly time."
"Oh really?"
"Hit RJ, take out the leaders; hit Hwa Chong, take out the thinkers; hit AC, take out the philanthropists. I've been telling my friends about this for years."
"Well, given the amount of pressure in Singapore, it's gonna happen...some brilliant but psychotic kid is going to snap."
"Singapore should be glad I'm not psychotic."
"Wah, shiok sendiri eh?"
"Er...I didn't meant I was calling myself the other adjective."
"Yeah right."

Hanging out with sis

My little sister FlowerMoonFish arrived in the US yesterday...Steve and I went to pick her up at O'Hare. She'll be starting college at Williams in Massachusetts this fall, and I could strangle the bloody kid 'cos I'm jealous she's going to a school that has enough money to give its internationals a free roundtrip ticket home every year.

---

At the moment we're just hanging out in my apartment with Lina. Just finished reading about the Backstroke of the West, which is a movie about why you shouldn't back-translate subtitles from one language into the original. (Some guy bought a pirated DVD of Revenge of the Sith, the kind that was videotaped by someone in the cinema. The English subs on the DVD had been back-translated from the original Chinese subs!)

(So thaaaaat's where the "DO NOT WANT!" thing came from.)

Also, FMF says of the second commenter, "I bet it's a Malaysian." Go us! _{(If any S'poreans are reading this pls don't kill me.)}

---

We were out all afternoon and I'd let the cat out when we left so she was covered in burrs as usual. FMF was petting her and thought she'd found another one:

FMF: This burr's not coming out. Wait, it's not a burr!
me: Lemme see?
[small pink thing surrounded by 1cm patch of bare skin]
me: Darling, this cat is a girl. That is a nipple.
FMF: Oh, sorry cat!

=D

Warp 10...engage!

Speaking of English characters...my London cousin Grace (half Malaysian Chinese half English) just changed her relationship status to "engaged" on Facebook. I haven't seen Grace for ages and ages (probably about eight years) and I've always wanted to go to England so I'm already looking forward to next September.

The previously mentioned Harry Potter fan friend also got engaged a couple weeks ago. She and Grace are both the same age as me. I also have a male age-mate cousin on the other side, but somehow I don't see him marrying any soon.

Me, well, I'll just quote my colleague Angela's response to my question about what age people usually marry at in Colombia:

"Some people marry after high school, some people marry after they finish university, and some people, like me, marry...I don't know when."

Obviously I'm writing about this because it's something I desire, but I'm not too fussed about the "Christmas cake" idea (in Japan, women are like Christmas cakes because they're stale after the 25th). I've known a couple of lady professors who got married in their mid-thirties, like my friend Karen - so I just tend to count it as a cost of being a professional. It's not like that's abnormal for men anyway.

My dad got married at 34 to his former high school physics student...now THAT's a great role model =D

PK drug problem

I'm not a fan of ultraconservative American organizations like Focus on the Family, but there was an article titled "Real Life for Second-Generation Christians" in one of their fliers which I thought was totally relevant and funny:

But there are challenges when faith has always been an assumed part of your life. One second-generation Christian said he had a drug problem growing up--his father was a pastor and he got "drug" to church on Sunday morning and "drug" to church on Sunday night and "drug" to church on Wednesday night.

A while ago I visited the home of the senior pastor at the church I attend, with a bunch of other random churchgoers. At one point a twentysomething woman sneaked into the back of the living area and was getting something out of the fridge when someone turned around and asked "Who's that?" The "Oh Dad don't make me introduce myself" look on her face was painfully familiar and for the first time in my life it wasn't on mine =D

Random lists of things

Things I own or owned that are older than me:

• My mum's swimsuit (it was actually quite nice-looking)
• My dad's Bible (pocket-sized copy of the NIV)
• My friend David's mum's old bike (a Motobecane Nomade, mixte-frame road bike. The photo in the Wikipedia entry is mine, actually.)

Things I like:

• Skinny boys (must work on Steve!)
• Sharp knives (I have 14 bladed instruments in my tiny apartment at last count, ranging from a foot-long Filipino bolo to a #11 craft knife)
• Medium-sized dogs
• Cats except brachycephalic breeds (e.g. Persians, which look like they've been punched in the face)
• Rainy days
• Broccoli, green peas, Chinese/Napa cabbage, Chinese radish/daikon
• Boston Cream doughnuts
• Automatic microplate washers
• Watching animals interact without human intervention
• Lindt and Dove chocolates, and those fancy Guylian hazelnut praline seashells
• Fireworks of any type
• Lego
• Complex but gramatically well-structured sentences
• My immediate family and most of the Hwa cousins
• White mice
• Wensleydale cheese
• Char koay teow and Penang laksa
• Microwave ovens
• Evolutionary psychology
• Thick copper wire, like the kind in the solenoids of ceiling fans

Things I don't like:

• Indexed shifters on cheap bikes (because the "clicks" on the shifters don't line up properly with the gears)
• Running
• Pipettors that take weird-sized tips
• Mustard greens
• Toy breeds of dogs (especially since working at a vet clinic in college)
• UMNO politicians
• Girls/women who wear a lot of makeup and expect males to carry things for them
• Radical feminists
• Ultracentrifuges (because I'm scared the rotor will come off and fly through a brick wall)
• Cotton rats, because they bite and they're tough bastards to catch
• Oscillating fans
• Cheap chocolate with palm oil or other vegetable oils substituted for the cocoa butter
• Whiny accents, particularly Malaysian Chinese-school-educated and the US "Valley Girl"
• Powdered latex gloves
• People who are stupid because they're lazy and/or arrogant (people who are stupid because of innate skill level are fine, it's not their fault...and they often act more sensibly than the former type of stupidos)
• Chee cheong fun ("pig intestine noodles")

Miss Mousie stand-up

Some funny moments from my family's recent car trip to Penang:

Pa: The password for the other computer is Mum's birthday.
FMF: If you forget it, really jialat right? [Coxford Singlish Dictionary spells it "chia lat"...scroll down]
Pa: Well, it's my birthday too.
(My parents happen to have the same birthday...makes life easier.)

'There was this young lady who went to a temple to pray. One of the monks noticed she wasn't wearing any panties, but he didn't want to let her know he saw.

'So he started shaking the rattle Charborbohchengkor! Charborbohchengkor! (Girl not wearing pants! in Hokkien)

'The second monk tapped on the wooden xylophone Ti-ta-lok? Ti-ta-lok? (Where?)

'The third monk used the cymbals to clash Ban-ban kua! Ban-ban kua! (Look slowly!) '