Babies are scary

I just found out that another couple of my bible study "kaki-lang" (as Mum would say) are pregnant. They actually knew before the first pair announced it about a month ago but they were keeping quiet so as not to steal their thunder =)

So I'm rather bemused by the explosion of friends who are reproducing this year. The first ones were Tim and Magda who had Kirana in April. She's quite enormous now...I wish they weren't in California! Even my Form Five class monitor from MGSS Melaka recently had a daughter - actually she looked kind of "tomboy" in school but I saw her wedding photos on FB and she looks so pretty and feminine. Another friend I know who's a bit older is trying to have a baby with his wife by artificial reproductive technology so I've got my fingers crossed for them (not tagged in this note).

I guess that's part of growing up: when you see people in your generation starting to have their own children, you realize you REALLY can't call yourself "a kid" or "just a student" any more even if you're still in school, not married, and don't have your own house. I don't mind growing up.

I'm very happy for all of them but the idea of doing it personally...I won't say "disgusts" or "horrifies" me but I really don't ever want to have a baby. I'm not averse to the idea of having children per se, but not children of my own body. It's a finely tuned machine and I hate the idea of having it not running normally for 9+ months, all the nausea, weight, funny movements, limited activities, etc. Also, I work in a lab with viruses and many potentially teratogenic chemicals.

I would rather go and sterilize myself before getting married (or better yet, make my fiance go).

I told Steve, if we stay together and if he wants kids, we would have to adopt. Maybe we can get an Indian baby and confuse everybody...

Hope nobody is offended by these thoughts. Like I said, I'm happy for all of you and enjoying seeing the cute babies (and looking forward to seeing the ones that are still in utero, I just don't want to do it myself. I know at least one other girl who feels this way (Magda: hint: she's another one of your friends also) so I'm not completely weird.