Lim Beng Choo, d. 2007

I got a new handsfree (the cheapest wired one possible; you think I so poser wanna get Bluetooth pulak?) for my SE T610 phone on Tuesday and it was a good thing because yesterday night I ended up spending an awful lot of time on the phone and my ear would have hurt without it.

My college friend (and first ex) SD called unexpectedly and we spent the better part of an hour chatting while I played with my cat using a laser pointer and a feather stick. She loves the handsfree too since she's never gotten so much attention at one time.

As we were ending the call the "new message" alarm beeped. It's a very good thing that Einstein Wireless also finally got my voicemail routing problem fixed, since the rather garbled and tearful message was from my sis saying that "Papa just emailed...Ah Mah passed away..."

So I called her back and spent some time talking to and praying with her on the phone. None of us were ever close to Ah Mah - as my dad later observed, "you'll probably miss Ah Gong more", but poor thing was pretty upset.

Nobody really expected this; even though my mother's mother has been in the late stages of Alzheimer's Disease for a long time, she was in relative physical health as far as anyone knew. My mum was feeding her lunch and she just stopped eating and went still.

My dad's job is transferring him to Penang right after New Year's; part of the reason for the transfer was supposed to be so that my mum could be close to her parents instead of having to take a six-hour bus ride every two weeks. They're still moving, but things have changed. Ah Gong's still more than capable of taking care of himself, but now that his wife is gone maybe it'll be good to have another daughter around...I hope. He's a tough old man, still rides his motorbike to market.

There's going to be a small funeral tomorrow. It'll be non-religious; Ah Mah was Buddhist but hadn't practised for years, and the family is all over the place including my Muslim aunty and her family.

My London aunty and my Los Angeles aunty were supposed to go back to Penang next week and the week after respectively; as far gone into senility as Ah Mah was, I think it must still be a shock to be coming back to a grave instead of a living mother.

I called my Los Angeles aunty later since she's my only other Chang relative in the USA. She sounded sorrowful but calm as she said, "I miss the Ah Mah we had when I was young."

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My father's mother also has severe Alzheimer's Disease. Above anything else I dread one day saying to a daughter or a niece, "I miss the Ma we had when I was young," or worse, "I miss the Pa we had when I was young." If it ever comes to that God grant us the grace to bear it.