Cycling > sex

Predictably, after my last blog entry a few guy friends tried to convince me that sex > cycling (in one fellow's words, sex >> *.* (where *.* means "anything" (wildcard file name, wildcard extension))). Last night I was thinking about it and laughing to myself and I COULDN'T SLEEP so I got up and wrote down my reasons.

I'm beginning to think there's something wrong with me.

(Today I rode all the way to the on-ramp to the highway - for some reason the on-ramp and off-ramp from the highway at Bentong are several km apart. The funniest moment was when I went through the police checkpoint and they looked at me in complete bafflement for a moment.)

Why cycling > sex:

• You can't have sex to go to the supermarket, post office, or bus station (although to be fair, you can't ride bicycles on aeroplanes).
• If we got more of the world's population to have sex, it wouldn't cut emissions of greenhouse gases.
• When you're cycling with someone, it's a lot easier to make sure you're going at the same speed.
• Cycling without a partner is much more fun than sex without a partner.
• You can put in a tampon and cycle when you're having your period (pun intended).
• As with any other "X is better than sex" jokes, you don't have to be over 16 to cycle legally.
• In terms of hazards to the reckless, dying of a road accident is less complicated than dying of AIDS.
• It's better to be known as "the girl on a bicycle" rather than "the girl who is a bicycle".
• The Jabatan Agama Islam - or whatever the **** it's called - won't arrest you for commiting khalwat (close proximity) with your bicycle. You can even do it in public!
• LUBE FOR BIKES IS CHEAPER! =D

On the other hand, there are some similarities:

• A good hard ride improves cardiovascular fitness and strengthens your thighs.
• Although both activities are essentially very low-tech and require no special clothing, there's no end of toys and fancy gear you can buy.

Flying without wings

I spent an hour and a half cleaning up an old racing bike (road bike to Americans) this afternoon (my family has 4 bikes, all relatively old, only 2 of which function at the time of writing). The only bike I've been riding for the last few months was the cheap "mountain" bike that my dad bought back when I was in Form Four. It's heavy, awkward, and to cap it all, has indexed shifters (a pet peeve of mine since they get screwed up so easily on the cheap bikes I've had experience with).

So I wiped the dust off the racing bike, inflated the tires, took off the back wheel, cleaned everything I could reach with petrol, lubricated everything that moves and TRIED to adjust the seat height. Also had my first encounter with Presta valves. Then I took it for a short spin.

FREAKING BLOODY AWESOME.

I should kick myself for waiting this long. I love fast bikes. They feel like flying. They feel like utter freedom. No engine, no battery, only me and Newton's laws of blissful, soaring motion. The wind on my face, steel under my hands and between my legs melding into my bones, tarmac hissing under my tyres...I think if I was forced to choose between going the rest of my life without cycling or without sex, I'd choose to keep the bikes.

(Sorry, guys!)

Pandan chrysalis

My mum was plucking some pandan leaves a couple days ago to make the fridge smell nice when she found this chrysalis hanging from one:

The next day it had hatched and I quickly took it outside since we don't want any more bugs in the house, thank you.

Timber!

My dad's idea of gender equality is "girls do yard work".

A few days ago yet another dead tree fell across our fence and on top of a power line. He says all the tree fall is the church's fault for having several trees around the parsonage poisoned to clear the land some time ago - stupid idea if you ask me, because a dead tree is still a tree unless you're going to cut it down anyway.

Tenaga Nasional didn't show up so he took it upon himself to risk both our lives by sawing the tree in half and heaving the top half out of the way. Safety precaution? Slip an old piece of carpet between the tree and the electric wire. Love you too, Pa. =PPP

Then we had to go into the jungle on the other side of the fence to move the bottom half, which made me very nervous because of the presence of leeches. This may sound odd, but if you've never watched a leech, which is blind, deaf, and for all purposes except eating, headless, CHASE you (by smell or sensing body heat presumably), it's an incredibly creepy sight.

By the time my mum and I were finished sawing the top half of the tree into manageable branches and throwing them down the hill, I was covered in mosquito bites. Whatever people say about "natural" citronella repellants, they don't work.

Afterwards I found one leech attached to the sole of my left foot and didn't find the other leech attached to the top of the same. The second one had hit a vein so I walked around the house oozing like a haemophiliac for hours...

So maybe I've conquered my leech-phobia, but I still have a very healthy hatred of them.

Palaeoanthropology

Tangential thought, running through head after reading the following quote from a Christian geologist called Davis Young in Mark Noll's The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind:

The issue of the origin of humankind is especially sensitive. It seems that the church is afraid to look into paleoanthropology. Where is the curiosity about the physical history of human beings?

Last sentence ends "...the first Adam." (didn't scan all the way to the end of my bookmark)

Just a quick sketch of what that got me thinking about...

I think the original revulsion to Darwin's idea about the descent of man was more visceral than theologically-based, even, when you think about how Europeans in past centuries were so set on taming nature. If you consider nature to be dirty, something to be conquered and bound to human utility and whatever aesthetic is currently modern, then yes, the idea that humans are linked to those dirty, scratching, bug-eating, creatures we call other primates is repugnant.

Which is totally contra the idea that all nature is the work of God, and that everything has its place, regardless of whether we recognize it or not...see previous blog post on Augustine's ecology. Monkeys are sacred...my hatred for them notwithstanding (one time in Taiping they came into our house, stole our goreng pisang, and terrorized my baby sister).

Nasal spay

For those rare unfortunates who have their ovaries stuck up their nostrils.

Vision 2020

Sent this to The Star to try for an easy RM50...they didn't print it, surprise surprise =)

Dr. Mahatir is surprisingly hard to draw. Lat developed an instantly recognizable caricature of him, but I didn't want to copy that.

Today's Forecast: A little froggy

theCICAK competition: Combating Apathy

Plug.

Blur Toad #8

Once more unto the breach

I'm too dirty-minded for my own good. I was listening to Henry V on audiobook again while washing dishes, and I nearly dropped a pan lid when the King of France, telling his dukes to attack Henry, says "Go down upon him."