Shh...we're going squiwwel hunting

My boss needed some ground squirrels for a vaccination study. (Lab mice are Old World rodents. Ground squirrels are New World rodents. Therefore, if you're trying to invent a vaccine for prairie dogs - New World rodents - makes sense to test it on their compatriots...kua.) Told me to call a professor at the UW who uses them for hibernation research and ask her if I could come along the next time her lab was trapping them. Prof told me to call back later since her main squirrel trapper was on vacation.

Now, if you don't know what ground squirrels are and you live in Malaysia, they're not like ours, i.e. "furry little things that pop out of the jungle once in a blue moon." If you live in North America, they're not like tree squirrels there either, i.e. "marauding little bastards like rats with bushy tails." Ground squirrels have beautiful fur patterns, enormous eyes, and overall are super cute (see pic from eNature).

When Mike came back from holiday I called him:

"Could we come along with you the next time you're trapping?"
"Sure. We only start after Memorial Day, to give the pups some time, since they're having babies up till the end of June."
"OK, do I need to bring anything? We have Kevlar gloves."
"Nope, I've got everything I need."
"How do you trap them? Sherman traps?"
He laughed. "We just grab them with our hands."
"WHAT?"
"We just grab them when they come out of their holes. I'll show you."

Okayyyy...

The NWHC team ended up consisting of Andi, an animal care technician, Nicola, our Italian vet, and me. The following is a method for successfully obtaining ground squirrels.

1. Find a golf course. Convince the golf course maintenance guys that you want to help rid them of those pesky squirrels making holes in the ground, for free, and that you're not barking mad.

2. Fill a bunch of large containers, such as Nalgene carboys, with water. For the information of my non-science friends, Nalgene started out making lab equipment long before their colourful super-tough polycarbonate waterflasks became popular.

3. Walk around looking for ground squirrels running across the ground or standing upright. Robins are not ground squirrels. They hop. Dead leaves sticking out of the grass are not ground squirrels. They don't move at all.

When you see a squirrel, follow it to its hole. Even though golf courses have many many holes in the ground, most of them are abandoned. You will feel very stupid if you waste time and water mucking around with empty burrows.

3. Put on leather gloves - VERY IMPORTANT - and get a partner to hold a carboy for you. Cup your hands over the squirrel hole and get the partner to pour water into it. You may get slightly wet and muddy, but it's refreshing on a hot day, and if you're the type who's likely to fuss about a bit of mud, why the heck are you doing field biology? Go and be a banker or something.

4. When the squirrel pops out, grab it quickly despite the alarming sensation. Having a wet and wriggling squirrel leap into your hands feels somewhat like being a midwife delivering a very small and recalcitrant baby upside down, not like I'd know anyway.

5. Ground squirrels fall into the very large non-taxonomic category of "things that look cute until they bite you", hence the need for leather gloves. And rabies shots, if it makes you any happier.

If a squirrel - or bat, or any other small animal, for that matter - bites you, DO NOT PULL ON IT. Do not wave your hands around going Ow ow ow damnit. This will only make it grip more tightly, and lacerate your hand worse. Blow into its face until it loosens its jaws.

They tend to look rather like seals since they have very small outer ears, and the effect is enhanced by their fur being all wet and plastered down...

5b. If you're really pro like me (yeah right), and are lucky enough to see a mum and baby dive down the same burrow, you can do the Double-Fisted Take Your Son/Daughter To Work Squirrel Grab.

6. Place squirrels in a standard Nalgene cage (a.k.a. "rat box") with an appropriate substrate (a.k.a. fluffy stuff to make them comfy) and transport back to lab. Up to 5 squirrels per cage is OK for a short transport, but they should be housed individually. Have a vet check them soon after arrival. Feed 50% each dry dog food and dry cat food, with carrots and other fresh veggies on the side. I think they'd make really cute pets, although definitely not cuddly ones.

The funniest one was the last guy, who had a burrow with three exits around a cement drainage block. Andi was holding her hands over one, while Nicola and I had our feet over the other two. When we started pouring the water, though, the squirrel came up and started going "tok tok tok" on the sole of Nicola's shoe. So we quickly switched positions and Andi grabbed a by then very muddy and annoyed squirrel. Unfortunately, I let it slip away while she was stuffing it into a cage. Since we had enough animal by that point, Mike suggested letting it go, but Andi was bound and determined to beat the squirrel. So she went back for more water, and I nabbed it.

You can tell I'm not used to drawing with a mouse.

Group photo: