i don't have all the answers - ain't gonna pretend that i do

On the way back from Appleton (tumpang-ed with AT for Christmas week) I had a 1:35 layover in Milwaukee (these Americans never heard of express bus is it?), so I went window shopping (with two enormous backpacks, sial). I wasn't planning to buy anything, but there was a second-hand record shop in the big mall, so I looked in. Fortuitiously - they had the Lifehouse CD I've been looking for for ages. (Geez. It's got five full stars on Amazon.)

One thing about this album is that it's a great illustration of the idea that we live by "faith, not sight". Other than the music, another reason for its popularity is that it expresses so perfectly the ambiguity that thinking Christians find themselves caught up in. We believe, and we reason, but reason alone isn't enough to hold up what we believe in, and we're trying to understand if this is satisfactory/if there's a way to make it work better/if we're turning into heretics/if this is what faith means. "Trying" is one song that I hadn't heard on the radio or downloaded before, and I love it.

...
Honesty is a hard attribute to find
When we all want to seem like we've got it all figured out
Let me be the first to say that I don't have a clue
I don't have all the answers
Ain't gonna pretend like I do, just
Trying to find my way
Trying to find my way the best that I know how

Well I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say
But I'm working on it
Maybe I'll master this artform someday
If I quote all the lines off the top of my head
Would you believe
That I fully understand all these things I've read?
I'm just trying to find my way
...

Sometimes you get caught up in the crossfire between a bunch of different arguments, and it drives you crazy, and it hurts so much and you feel like you're gasping for clarity like oxygen. It's desolation. Then you read or hear or see something that tells you that you're not alone, that you're part of a body that's struggling together to deal with this, figure it out, and in that, you find comfort. To quote a Garth Hewitt song that I can't remember the name of:

I shall fall
into the arms
of a loving God
Herein is peace
herein is peace
it is enough.

Wow. I think I'm addicted.