Bad weather, bad connection

I took out my Nomex "ninja" hood for the first time this year, a very good thing because it's been raining all afternoon and the temperature is a nasty 12'C. I'm also glad I spent time on Monday padding the handlebars of my bike (an old Motobecane Nomade I, if that means anything to you - it certainly doesn't to me, except I like racing bikes), because I was feeling like carpal tunnel was near at hand -- ha, ha.

Also, my anonymous neighbour from whom my housemate and I have been stealing wireless finally got around to password-protecting their network, so means if I want to use the Internet for entertainment purposes, I'll have to go and sit in the library. Whoever you are -- if you have a network called "bin's home" which you recently enabled security on, and live somewhere in Madison -- do you want to rent out some of your bandwidth? I'll pay up to $10 a month. Deal? Deal?

The work order for my job still hasn't bloody come through, so I'm still "volunteering" and making the nice people in the lab feel guilty. Maybe I should write a letter to UW-Madison saying, cepat la bangang, aku lapar nak mampus ni.

Good news, and cool links

The research work order for my job finally came through! Turns out it wasn't being held up at the university like I thought; it was held up in WASHINGTON. Still hasn't quite sunk in that I'm going to be working for the US government. Pretty darn cool overall.

I've been volunteering in the lab 2-7 hours a day since Monday out of sheer boredom after 4 weeks of unemployment, and making my boss and the 2 microbiologists supervising me feel guilty ^_^ But she says I'll get vacation time to compensate after I officially start working.

In the meantime, I've been reading a LOT -- van Gulik's Judge Dee novels, O'Brien's Aubrey/Maturin novels, Gavin Menzies 1421, which I've wanted to get my hands on for AGES. Laksamana Cheng Ho - the eunuch admiral Zheng He - is a popular historical figure with both Chinese and Malays in Malaysia, because Chinese traders' and diplomats' trips to Melaka gave the Sultanate official recognition with China and established Melaka as the biggest port in SE Asia.

Also started on Stephen Wolfram's A New Kind of Science, which inspired me to request a trial version of Mathematica. They only last 15 days. Very kiamsiap.

Also read a lot of webcomics - regretting my ignorance of Chinese culture (hey, it was my parents who decided to raise us speaking English - I found a site that has 100 pages each from illustrated versions of ten classic novels. What's annoying me is that there's no link to the books that the pictures and English translations came from, so if anyone knows, tell me, please!

I used Free Download Manager to read the comics offline (less of a pain than loading each page over a slow connection, since I'm still stealing wireless from some anonymous neighbour. So here's a little plug for them:




Free Download Manager

Swoopy things

Got distracted from writing by downloading GraphCalc. Big mistake. Although I only did math up to the beginning calculus sequence in uni, I'm somewhat fascinated by it, and I like trying to figure out how to graph/if I can graph a certain shape.

Which led to looking up all kinds of silly things on Wikipedia and MathWorld, like how to draw ellipses (I forgot *paiseh paiseh*).

Found out what spline curves are at last. So when you drag the little handle things around in Paint Shop, the angle of the handle is the first derivative and the length of the handle is the...second derivative? I still haven't dared to try much with the vector graphics.

I think the only way to draw a closed curve in GraphCalc is to make one function for the top half and one function for the bottom half...and you still get holes around the equator where the slope is infinite. Otherwise it's very cool. I used GraphCalc a long time ago to draw slices through a 3D (top half sphere, bottom half paraboloid) to make a collapsible egg of thin card as a gift for a friend.

I suppose if you wanted to (and knew a lot about engineering) you could make a really big paraboloid, cover it in tinfoil, and have your own solar oven. Or Astro dish.

Reality bites

I’m in the middle of Jacques-Yves Costeau’s The Silent World and I think I’m going to stop eating tuna for a while.

Costeau wrote with great economy. His style was vivid and colourful, not at all sparse or stark, but he managed to tell epic stories in a few paragraphs. I think it was because he had so much to tell, so many fantastic stories which somehow all had to be squeezed into a book (a relatively short one, at that), that he made them so short, but they’ve been compacted by the hand of a master storyteller. And bear in mind, this book was first published in 1953, only ten years after he and his friends Dumas and Taillez first used the aqualung.

A book that has a cheerier view of tuna sandwiches (you really have to read Costeau’s account of the Tunisian tuna fishery to understand why I’m put off all of a sudden) is Patty Wolcott’s aptly titled Tunafish Sandwiches. It’s a 10-word reader for very young children, but I liked its depiction of the marine food chain (“little little plants. little little animals. little little animals eat little little plants. little fish eat little little animals. big fish eat little fish.” and so forth) enough that I searched for and bought a copy on Amazon earlier this year. It also turned out that she wrote another of my childhood favourites, the Marvelous Mud Washing Machine.

I think I’ll stick to tilapia. They’re like the aquatic equivalent of cows. Herbivorous, domesticated, and nothing noble or terrible in death.

Armies of the free world

I'm in the middle of Philip Gourevitch's We Wish to Inform You That Tomorrow We Will be Killed With Our Families, a book about the massacre in Rwanda. It's not as hard to read as Hotel Rwanda was to watch, but this is not a book one reads quickly. For comparison, I read HP and the Half-Blood Prince in two three-hour sittings. I've been reading this for three hours and am about halfway through (it's 356 pages). Thinking on the ignorance, posturing, and bureaucracy that stopped military and humanitarian aid from reaching Rwanda in 1994 gave me a funny idea:

What if a few decades in the future, military peacekeepers were primarily not UN forces, but self-organized clans or guilds* of volunteer mercenaries funded by individual donations? What if one day another man finds himself defending a compound full of refugees like Paul Rusesabagina, but instead of a fax machine has a computer, and emails his bosses in Belgium and blogs about their peril? A mayday like that could spread around the world in hours, transmitted 'virally', as the marketing people like to put it, and if the option to go into danger to save lives was given to individuals, not governments and bureaucracies, another such massacre could be stopped dead in its tracks.

*yes, I'm consciously using computer game terminology even though I'm not a gamer, because the groups of volunteers would come together in a similar way.

Just wanted to put the idea out there. Maybe it only seems like a good idea because it's past my bedtime. Responses (esp from people who know more about Internet stuff than me)?

Bat Tales interlude: Aliens On Our Planet

Heh. Since I'm going to be sitting around unemployed, I ought to be sitting on my bum and writing more rather than sitting on my bum and surfing. Here's the article I wrote to go with Jodi's and Laura's in Haring Ibon magazine (means 'raja burung' in Tagalog, is the local name for the Philippine eagle, and is the magazine of the Haribon Foundation).

Aliens On Our Planet

The ‘space bug’ was caught during our second to last week on Mount Isarog. Its glasslike wing-cases and head shield formed a disk, with the body a bright orange dome in the middle, so that it resembled a flying saucer. There were other fantastic finds – the ‘scooter bug’, a leafhopper with handlebar-shaped horns; an iridescent green and copper beetle; and an ‘alien’ spider that looked as if a black-and-yellow blowfish had been glued to its behind.

For an urbanite, a trek into the jungle is like an astronaut’s journey to the far side of the moon – so close, yet one never sees it. Too often we act as if our cities are spaceships, closed off from external change. It was staggering to realize that all the cities I had lived in (in Malaysia) once were very much like the forest around us: dense with life, growing, eating and being eaten, nothing inorganic but the rocks.

Some of the forest inhabitants quickly became familiar, in particular bats. (And those ants with the red heads and 4mm jaws.) From ‘ball of fluff with wings’, my recognition of insect bats improved to the point where I could tell the difference between Rhinolophus arcuatus and Hipposideros ater after a couple of days. However, we discovered that one can’t tell the difference between a dung beetle and a bat without looking:

“Which bag has the bat in it?”

“It must be the heavier one.”

“Okay – oh! It’s the beetle.”

Handling the fruit bats proved an interesting diversion, because they had to be hung from a high place in order to take off when released – often on the clothesline next to a T-shirt or pair of socks. Large-eyed and furry, their faces are cute even by non-zoologist standards, although “all the cuteness goes away when they bite you.”

The more common bats were marked with hair bleach to identify them when recaptured, although one Sunday the field assistants borrowed some bleach and gave themselves new hairdos. Hitherto I had only seen bats from a distance, over trees and lamp-posts, or in zoos. Watching them scramble, flutter, and then fly off into the night when we released them was thoroughly satisfying.

What surprised me about the forest was the degree of human encroachment in it. At the ‘official’ border of a nearby barangay, the sign proclaiming “Welcome to Mount Isarog National Park!” is thrown into ironic relief by the electric lines running overhead and dozens of houses in the background. Our final campsite on the Tabuan River was actually on one of many abaca plantations in the area. The endless stretches of identical trees made navigation difficult. “I never want to see another banana tree again,” I groaned after Jodi, Laura, and I got lost on our first night of trapping there. Exploring by day, we saw freshly felled and girdled trees.

Yet it’s hard for me to assign sole blame to the farmers doing the cutting and cultivation, opportunists like everyone else. As someone said of the abaca farmer who let us use his house and rent his water buffalo, “He’s cutting down the forest—but he’s a nice guy!” What about the people who buy and use the abaca, sugarcane, and rice? What about the people who should be ensuring that the park boundaries are enforced? They probably live in cites, as do I, as do most of us. It’s easier to accept loss experienced only in the abstract as a figure of so many hectares of land, without seeing it with one’s own eyes; but the weeks on the mountain brought the knowledge of that loss closer to my heart, harder to bear.

---

Completely unrelated -- here's a pic of a Philippine eagle. They're HUGE. Laura and I saw one at the raptor centre at the UP-Los Banos campus. When asked how many they had, the curator said, "We have three. There is another pair that is not on display. This one's name is Laila. One of the keepers is courting her for artificial insemination."

So much for slimline

My laptop, a Gateway 450SX4, has its fan vent in a really stupid place -- on the bottom -- considering that its little rubber feet are about 5 mm high and that unlike many laptops, it doesn't have taller feet that can fold out. Patutlah it overheats all the time. My sister's new comp, a Toshiba Satellite, has the fan vent on the left side near the back, which is far more sensible.

It's also really freaking noisy. Pa bought me a Cooler Master platform (brushed aluminium, USB-powered, sucks in from the top and blows out the sides) when I was home in July, and its two fans are nearly silent compared to the laptop's own fan.

Low Yat Plaza is a geek's paradise. You can also get kaya toast fingers on the lower level.

I decided to check out IVCF's International Fellowship at UW-Madison and discovered that it's dominated by East Asians. About two-thirds were mainland Chinese, plus a few Taiwanese. Phew. Most of them seem to be doing Masters or PhDs in biology-related stuff.

I was talking to one of the Chinese women when a familiar accent made me turn around. It was a young guy talking to a middle-aged woman with a baby. His accent didn't sound Chinese, so when the lady left I said:

"Hi! Where are you from?" (I need to work on starting conversations more politely)

"Singapore."

"OH CHEH that's why your accent sounded familiar."

"Singaporean?"

"Malaysian."

"How come you're by yourself? Malaysians tend to travel in herds. Usually about five or six, but at least three or four people." [This is why you shouldn't go to, say, CMU or Australia if you want to meet people from other cultures.]

"Oh, I just moved here, haven't run into any others yet." [And I'm from a tiny college where there were two Malaysians and one Singaporean.]

"I can put you in touch with some people. There's a Malaysian Students' Association, MSA, but they don't do anything. Now there's a Malaysian Chinese Students' Association [wahlau...sounds like MCA] which the Chinese students started because they were fed up with MSA not doing anything. MCSA has things like international dinners, Taste of Malaysia...then the Indian and Malay students joined because MSA still wasn't doing anything."

I asked him whether he was a grad student or an undergrad. "Undergrad...I've been here two years."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty-four. It's because of NS. Oh yeah, Malaysia has NS now too, but it's only six months."

"I don't like to disparage my country, but our NS is ridiculous."

"I don't like to disparage my country, but at least your NS has gender equality."

"So? Complaining because NS got no chicks ah?"

"Not just that, but when you get out, the girl who was two years your junior is now your senior, and it's like that all the way up, later they become your bosses."

I told him all my sibs were in Singapore, and that the eldest after me had done O-levels, JC, and is now in NUS: "Hah! Sorry, you're never going to see them again. They're not coming back."

"You guys are stealing our brains!"

"Yeah, I've been writing letters to my government telling them 'We should encourage Malaysia in its bumiputra policy.'"

Haha. Geez. Now that TA isn't nearby, it's nice to run into someone who can talk about all this stuff.

So, I was going through some old writings and noticed a file called “LOTR_spoof.doc”, which made me wonder, “When did I ever try writing a spoof of the LOTR? It’s too long!” then I realized it wasn’t a spoof of the book...

All the following material was written in December 2002 shortly after Jerng, two other cousins, another Batesie, and I went to watch LOTR: TT in New York.

Random silliness:

ICQ dialogue from last week:
megabigBLUR: We're going to see the 2 towers in New York.
Ciunas: Weren't they destroyed on Sept 11 last year?
megabigBLUR: I mean the movie, not the buildings, you berk!

Bootleg Fan Videos:
1. Celebrity Deathmatch: Arwen/Eowyn catfight over Aragorn
2. Jane Fonda Gimli exercise video
3. Gollum monologue Coke ad

Dialogues:

Random street scene on the way to the cinema:
[Oi Yen approaches street vendor selling pictures of “2003 Sex Positions”]
Oi Yen: Oog.
Street vendor: Not you, you’re too young.

Behind the scenes:

Elf actor: Dude, haven’t I seen you somewhere before?
Dwarf actor: Yeah dude, you look familiar. Some set…
Both: Star Trek!
Dwarf: I was the Klingon Chancellor’s secretary. Even got to wear the same wig and beard for this one, but I ditched the fake forehead.
Elf actor: I was an extra. I should kick myself in the ass for getting into these friggin’ ear prostheses again, but the pay was good and they were recruiting Vulcans for this…

Orc extra: AaaaaaaAAAAARRRrrggg…
Jackson: What the **** is the matter with you? We’re shooting!
Orc extra: Sorry, Mr. Jackson. Gas.
Jackson: Hey, wait a minute, that would be a great orc battle cry.
Various people on the set: Aaaaaargh.

Storyboard editor: Mr. Jackson, this scene with Orlando sliding down the staircase looks ridiculous.
Jackson: Can it. We’re getting half a million bucks from Activision to endorse Tony Hawk.


Cut from the movie:

Glorfindel: [at Rivendell] Arwen, your little boyfriend’s going to get creamed in short order.
Arwen: Do me a favour and bail him out, please? He’s cute enough to be worth saving. And bear in mind he likes to be in charge. Humour him.
Glorfindel: Ooo, somebody thinks Men are cute…
Arwen: Shut up and go polish your helmet.

Aragorn: [in Elvish] Show no mercy! They won’t show any to you!
Elven archer:[in Elvish, muttering under breath] You little prick, I was killing orcs a thousand years before you wet your diapers.

[in the scene where Aragorn greets the contingent of Elven archers]
Elf: [gritted teeth] Look, I’m letting you hug me publicly because my baby cousin (who’s two millenia older than you, by the way) likes you, and if you make her cry, your guts go on my bowstring.

[in Fangorn Forest]
Gandalf: I fell through fire, through water…
Gimli: [sniggering] …into a bucket of whitewash.

Sam: This stuff actually tastes like recycled Jacob’s Cream Crackers, but Mr. Frodo needs to eat, so let’s look like it’s good.
Gollum: Why do you think I fake an allergy to elf bread?

Gondor scout: Sir, we wish you’d stop toying with the halflings and let them go. They’re getting underfoot, and we all know you’re all ethical and incorruptible anyway.
Faramir: But they’re cute when they get all defensive!

Vespertilionidae

I realize I’m falling behind badly on things I wanted to write...like the “Bat Tales” series of stories about camp. Having access to public libraries once again is going to my head. I read Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in two sittings (wasn’t inclined to pay the $2 rental fee, but I must say it’s a good idea for preventing patrons from hogging popular new material). I had a strong suspicion as to the Prince’s identity...which turned out to be quite wrong. Reading it tends to give you a feeling like Rowling is plagiarzing her own fanfiction – the character development in Cassandra Claire’s Draco trilogy not only is better than in the last couple of books, but it anticipates what Rowling does with the ‘real’ characters in book six. However, the book’s ending is both emotionally powerful and significant to the HP story arc (which I didn’t think OOTP was). Too bad it took so many pages of filler to get there.

Anyway, other types of magic aside, I found something about bats in Ovid’s Metamorphoses, of all the funny places. This is the Rolfe Humphries translation.

Book Four

And suddenly the building seemed to tremble,
The oily lamps to flare, the hearth to glow
With ruddy fire, and ghostly beasts were howling.
The sisters, hiding in the smoky rooms,
Fled from the fire and light and sought the shadows,
And over their frail limbs a film, a membrane,
Began to spread, and their arms were little wings.
They did not know, in the darkness, in what fashion
The changed had come upon the; they were lifted
On no great mass of plumage, only on wings
So frail you could see through them. They tried to speak,
But the sounds they made were as tiny as their bodies,
A squeak of protest. And still they flock to houses,
Not woods; they hate the light, and flit in darkness,
And science calls them Vespertiliones,
The bats, the evening-flutterers.

Especially tickled by the “and science calls them” bit. Actually, my favourite insect bat on the trip was the Miniopterus schreibersei. It’s a little thing with a high forehead and upturned smiley lips, and looks like a baby seal when crawling on the floor. We sometimes let bats loose in our tents in order to draw them in action – well, Jodi and Laura did. I only did it once. Every time I hung it on the side of the tent, it would flutter a couple of rounds, crash into the ground, and crawl in a corner to sulk because the nasty human was pointing a lamp at it. Then there was that time with the bags which they *thought* had only one Megaderma apiece...

We shall overcome -- someday!

From: Shi-Hsia Hwa
To: sully _
Subject: off by a couple of months
Date: Wed, 31 Aug 2005 17:21:19 -0500

I was going to send you another email saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and
remembered just in time that you're Halloween. It's my grandpa who's
Merdeka Day.

Happy Merdeka Day, while I'm at it.

=)

From: "sully _"
To: hwashihsia
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 11:10 PM
Subject: RE: off by a couple of months

ok... you too! :D
-yj